Thoughts During Crisis

July 27, 2012

I never did think that a wildfire could affect me or my family. Never have I ever though about having to pack up and be ready to leave at a moment's notice. How am I supposed to look around at my life and my home and decide what is “important enough” to take with me? How can I be expected to leave behind things that I have lived with all my life?

All the things that you hear during a time like this, you don't know what is true and what isn't. Being in this situation really puts things into perspective. You see very quickly what things are most important to you. You suddenly become extremely attached to everything you have. As you scroll through pictures of houses ablaze, and flames standing 30 feet tall, and Facebook statuses about all the prayers people are sending, you see the occasional glimmer of happiness from somebody not part of the group.

They talk about dance recitals and concerts, Hawaiian vacations, and what movie they want to see. The famous crowd worries about things like tour dates, photo shoots, and book releases. You stop and wonder: How can they be so oblivious? And that's when you realize that only a few days ago, you were one of those people. You were moving on with your life. The closest you ever were to a disaster was that action movie you saw last week. You didn't worry because you didn't have to.

I try to go through my day as I usually would, but it feels strange. As I shuffle through my music, I can't help but feel something that is almost guilt. It seems like your normal life is gone. Obsolete.

And it is. In the course of a few days, your life has been turned upside down, and nothing is as it was.

***this was written several years ago, during the Waldo Canyon Fire.***