Wednesday, January 24, 2018

The First Day of Class

The first day of class is the worst day of that class. Every class, every semester.

You walk into a room full of people you've never seen before in your life, and you sit down as far away from anybody else as possible. Then you wait for 10 or 12 or 20 minutes, praying in agony that you're in the right room.

Every time the door opens those people you don't know look up, trying to guess if it's the professor or not (inevitably the professor will be one of the last people to come in before class is supposed to start.) And once the professor does show up, and the clock ticks over to the designated start time, the professor breaks the stark silence by saying "we'll wait a few more minutes in case people are lost" which only serves to prolong your anxiety.

Then finally, the professor stands. And finally they welcome everyone to whatever class and you breath a sigh of relief because finally you have confirmation that you have been in the right place this whole time (meanwhile somebody else has packed up and scurried out the door in search of the class they signed up for, but didn't end up in).

And then you start the worst part of it all: ice breakers. The professor will state their name, and say one useless fact about themselves, and then its your turn. "Let's go around the room and when we get to you tell us your name, your major, and one interesting fact about yourself!" And suddenly you've become the most uninteresting person on the entire earth.

So again, you wait in agony for 5 or 12 or 15 minutes while each and every person introduces themselves, and you wait and you try to think of some tiny factoid that won't sound completely stupid when it comes out of your mouth. And then it's your turn and you've forgotten your own name, let alone how to make yourself sound interesting. You probably make up a "fact" about yourself, just to get it over with.

And then, once all 32 people (and whoever just came in 27 minutes late) have introduced themselves, you begin the arduous task of reviewing the syllabus, that, oh, you were supposed to print and read before coming to class. Whoops. You pretend to try to listen, but in all reality these things are all the same even though Professor Whoever insists that "this syllabus isn't like the ones from your other teachers, so pay attention."

If you're lucky, that sums up class for the first day. If not, get ready; you have a 90 minute lecture coming at you.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Do You Ever Wonder How Much You Exist in Other People's Lives?

Sonder
n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
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I'm always curious if people think of me when a certain song comes on, or when they pass through a certain part of town. I wonder how many stories I've been a part of that I may have forgotten, how many pictures I've accidentally photo-bombed. I wonder if I still exist in the minds of people I don't speak to anymore. I wonder how many times a day I pass through someones mind.

I wonder how many people make up a narrative of my life when they see me. I wonder if they wonder about me. Do they have an opinion about me, about who they think I might be? Do they mentally give their opinions when they overhear my conversations? Perhaps they've seen me somewhere before, or perhaps they only think that.
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[http://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/post/23536922667/sonder]